When You Choose Yourself, Others Notice

Have you ever watched another woman do something and thought, “I wish I could do that”?

Perhaps she changed direction when everyone expected her to stay where she was. Started something new. Went somewhere on her own. Spoke up when it would have been easier to stay quiet.

Or simply decided she was going to stop worrying quite so much about what everyone else thought.

She may never have known you were watching. And she may never have known that, in some small way, she gave you permission to think differently about your own life.

But what if we do this to other people too?

What if the choices we make for ourselves have a ripple effect that we rarely see? We don't always know who is watching. We tend to think of influence as something belonging to people with a platform, a title or a following.

But perhaps some of the most lasting influence happens much more quietly.

A woman goes back to work after years away. Another starts a business when people assume she should be slowing down. Someone leaves a situation that no longer feels right.

Someone else learns to say no. A woman walks into a room on her own and doesn't apologise for being there.

None of them may think of themselves as role models. They are simply living their lives.

And yet someone might be noticing.

A younger colleague. A friend. A niece. A neighbour. A friend's daughter. Someone sitting across the room at an event. Someone who may never say a word about it.

Is anyone watching you? Not in the uncomfortable sense of being observed or judged.

But in the very human sense that we are all influenced by the people around us.

Sometimes it is the woman who doesn't make a big announcement about her decision. She just does it. Sometimes it is the woman who has had setbacks and keeps going. Sometimes it is the woman who is comfortable admitting, “I don't know. I'll work it out.”

Sometimes it is simply someone who appears to be enjoying her life.

We don't necessarily remember the details. We remember the feeling. We remember thinking, “Maybe I could do that too.”

The most interesting thing about influence may be that we rarely get to see the whole story.

You might encourage someone without knowing it. You might make a difference to someone who never tells you.

Years later, a woman might remember something you said, something you did, or simply the way you handled a particular moment. You may have completely forgotten it.

That is the strange thing about a ripple. You see the first movement. You don't see where it eventually reaches.

So, what about you?

Have you ever considered that someone might be watching you and taking courage from something you are doing? Not because you have deliberately set out to inspire them.

Not because you have all the answers. Simply because you are making choices that are right for you.

And perhaps there is another question worth asking.

Who have you watched? Who was the woman who made you think differently about what was possible? Did she know? Probably not.

And perhaps that is the point.

We don't always know the effect we have on other people. We just keep living, choosing, changing and becoming.

And somewhere, sometimes, a small ripple begins.