Being Seen, Heard and Understood

Perhaps the first person who needs to see the woman I've become is me.

There is something that happens as we move through life.

We get to know ourselves a little better.

We become clearer about what matters to us. What we like. What we don't like. What we will accept. What we won't.

We become less interested in fitting into someone else's idea of who we should be.

And perhaps, somewhere along the way, we start wanting something quite simple.

To be seen.

Not noticed for the sake of being noticed. Simply seen for the woman we have become.

Because sometimes the woman standing in front of you is very different from the woman you might have assumed she was.

She has lived a little. Loved. Lost. Started again. Changed direction. Made mistakes. Learned things. Surprised herself.

And perhaps she has finally given herself permission to stop hiding some of that.

To walk into the room with confidence. To wear something that makes her feel fabulous.  To speak up.  To laugh loudly.  To say what she thinks.  To take up her place without wondering whether she belongs there.

Not because she needs anyone's approval, but because she has stopped asking for permission.

And what about being heard?

Perhaps being heard isn't about having the loudest voice. Sometimes it's about feeling comfortable enough to say what you really think.

To disagree. To tell your story. To say, “This is what I want.”  Or simply, “This is who I am.”

There can be a quiet confidence in that.

And confidence has a way of showing, sometimes before we have said a word.

We might think being seen is something other people give us, but perhaps some of it begins with us.

When we see ourselves differently, other people can see the difference too.

The woman who once worried about whether she looked too old, too young, too much or not enough might one day simply think:  I look good. I feel good. And I'm going to enjoy this.

There may be nothing about her that changed at all.  She simply gave herself permission to see herself differently.

And that confidence becomes visible.

Someone notices the way she walks into the room. The way she speaks. The way she laughs. The way she seems completely comfortable being herself.

And maybe that permission creates a ripple.

Another woman sees her and thinks, perhaps I can feel that way about myself too.

Perhaps I can wear what makes me feel fabulous. Speak up. Stop worrying quite so much about what other people think.

We may never know if that moment happens.

So perhaps being seen isn't the whole story.

Perhaps it starts with seeing yourself.

Knowing who you are. Being comfortable with the woman you've become. And giving yourself permission to let that show.

Because you don't need to become someone else to be seen.

Perhaps you just need to stop hiding the woman you already are.

And in doing that, you quietly give another woman permission to see herself differently too.